Safe and Sound
by But I Have Promises To Keep
Summary: How will Amy cope with losing Ken? Based on the song 'Safe and Sound' by Taylor Swift.
1. Chapter 1

**Just as a side note all things that are thoughts/memeories or written are in italics. I own nothing. Also, I'm not an on demand buyer so I don't know if there is a funeral scene in there, I apologize if there already is.**

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><p><em>'Semper Fi'<em>  
>These were the words that Amy saw through her glassy eyes as she watched others lay flowers on a flag-covered casket. The words that were forever etched onto a recently carved slab of stone.<p>

_"How stupid it is"_ Amy thought to herself _"to give flowers to someone who's dead. I don't think Ken even liked flowers"._  
>Then it hit her. Did Ken like flowers? She couldn't remember if this had even come up at any time. And now she would never know. She would never hear him say anything about himself again. She remembered the first night after Ken's death, her mind still asking Ken questions despite his absence.<p>

_"Where are you?" she had wanted to scream "Where have you gone? When are you coming back?". _

Of course her mind hadn't given her any response, merely succumbing to the numbness. Merely making her believe all was right with the world, when really it wasn't. They had so little time, but Ken had said it was worth it. But to her, was it? She shook this thought away. Today wasn't about her, today was about Ken. To recognize his absence. She remembered something a child had wrote in a book that had surely been set out by Ken's mother for loved ones to write something. It had been written in a child's large and untidy scrawl, taking up half a page.

_'When heaven's done with Ken we'd like him back, please.'_

It was one of those stupid yet brilliant things only a child could come up with, which made it all the more precious. Amy knew who it was, there was only one child here, a small dark haired girl of maybe eight. Amy suspected she was a cousin of Kens or similar. She stayed hidden behind her relatives, often peering curiously at people she didn't know. She had already caught her staring at Mal and Natara, even Kai. But every time she kept her distance, until finally Amy caught the staring at her. The girl had quickly looked away, but seemed to follow Amy like a tiny shadow. Eventually this began to annoy Amy, and she wanted to yell at the girl.

_"What do you want?"_ she wanted the scream, but kept these questions to herself _"Why can't you leave me alone?"._ But she didn't. Her tongue seemed to have curled inside her throat, keeping her from speech. As if she had suddenly become mute from all the screaming that had occurred in her own mind. She wanted to be done. To scream until the world went in reverse, so maybe she could done something differently. To scream as if the very power of sound could change the past. Even if it meant she fell out that window, anything to make it so Ken's heart would once again beat. So warm blood would flow through his veins, making him once again sit up again, calling her 'Ames', which she secretly adored. So he would hold her close, allow her to cry until she was done. But if he could do that, she wouldn't need to cry in the first place. Because that would mean Ken was returned to the world where hearts beat and eyes blink. Where bodies were warm and animate, not cold and still. Through all this she could see Ken's mother, clearly past tears, say her last goodbyes. She could see Ken's sister, her face somber. What was her name again? Kesha? Well, whoever she was, there was now a single silent tear rolling down her cheek. Of course there was, it was the day they recognized Ken was gone. That he was never coming back. Amy refused to think that Ken was dead. She couldn't even force her mind to think of this four letter word, because this sealed the deal. That if she spoke or even thought of it, that it would become true and she would lose Ken forever. She watched as Ken's casket was lowered into the earth, noticing how everyone was staring. The little girl was staring once again again, but not at a person. She was watching as dirt was lowered on top of Ken's coffin. Her eyes were narrowed in dislike, clearly saying _'Don't do it. If you cover him up, he'll never come out again. He'll be trapped down there'._

But more earth was shoved on top, landing with a wet thud on the flag-covered wood. Afterwards Amy turned away, noticing the girl was watching her once again.

_"Stop it!"_ she wanted to scream _"Leave me alone!"._  
>Knowing she wouldn't be able to escape the tiny girls piercing gaze, she left abruptly after the crowd had disbursed. As she walked to her car she didn't feel how hot it was, the sun mocking the terrible storm inside her mind. All she felt was a numb buzz across her fingertips, as if the sun couldn't reach where she was. She got in her car, driving towards the hotel she was staying at until her window was repaired. In truth, she didn't know if she could ever go home. That all she would see was Ken's ghost falling through that window. She pulled up, getting out and walking to the entrance of the building. Laughter caught her attention, sounding wrong and eerie in her mind. She wanted to scold the source of it. What right did anyone have to laugh while Ken would never laugh again? As she whipped her head around she saw a boy and a girl, teenagers, holding hands. They were walking down the street, basking in the fact that they had years to be happy. They passed a woman who was running to put a quarter in a parking meter before it ran out. Behind her a father balanced his son on his shoulders. None of these people cared that someone named Ken Greene had left the world forever. The world didn't simply stop for one person, it didn't end because someone named Ken Greene was dead.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Amy could only stand outside her apartment building, looking at the paper sheet that covered that shattered window where her room was. She stood by the small and faint bloodstains that stained the sidewalk, a permanent reminder of who had once been here. She remembered him being in pain, and she had begged him to stay with her. His body was so utterly broken, how selfish was that? He already had given his life for her, why should he have had to suffer just because she was to selfish to let him let go of his pain? She must have stood there for a long time, hesitant to go back inside and get a few items she would need in the morning. She very slowly drug herself up the steps, standing outside her door for a long time. It had only been a few days ago when she had last felt his face, felt his warm lips press against hers. Where had that time gone? Where had Ken gone? She pushed that thought out of her head, ignoring the questions and constant "what if's" that swirled around her thoughts. For if she let them go they would swirl around every thought she had, constricting her thoughts and consuming her mind. As she entered the first things she saw was a few shards of glass on the floor. Most of the glass had gone outside when Ken fell, but a few shards remained. They reflected her face back at her, and she paused for a moment as if mesmerized by this affect. Not wanting to look at herself any longer, she stepped on the larger pieces. They crunched and broke like tiny animal bones under her shoes, the only sound in this deathly quiet place. She walked past this room, walking into her bedroom and grabbing a few sets of clothes and throwing them in a bag before another memory could hit her. When her bag was filled she walked out, and as she did she glanced briefly at the brown paper that covered the broken window. A small hole was made in it, possibly from a bird or sediment floating in the air. Curious, Amy dropped her bag and walked out the window, widening the hole with her finger and peering out. The sun was setting, casting blood red light on the city. It gave it the appearance of being on fire, and she quickly closed her eyes and pulled away. She didn't want to think of blood red colors, of cities on fire, or the pain Ken must have endured before his death. It was too much, to much for her mind to bear at this time. She grabbed her bag, walking back to her hotel room. She threw her things down, immediately crawling into bed, finding sleep immediately.

_She was wrapped in Ken's embrace again, her hands curling up his shoulder blades, his hands on her hips. There were no words, there didn't need to be any. Until suddenly darkness engulfed them, and Amy didn't feel Ken near her anymore. _

_"Ken!" she tried to call out, reaching for him in the darkness. When she found his hand it was hold and limp, and he didn't respond. She was lying on the cold sidewalk with him, trying desperately to reach him. Her breaths caught sharply in her throat, barely making it past her lips. _

_"Ken…" she tried to call out to him, but her words only came in a raspy whisper. Blood blossomed from the sidewalk, forming a puddle. And Ken's pain was her pain, and she was losing it just like him. They had fallen together. _

When Amy's eyes snapped open she was frozen in fear. She must have thrashed around in her sleep, for her covers had been thrown on the floor. She was covered in cold sweat, shivering from the cold from the air conditioning. She grabbed her blankets from the floor, curling up like a catapillar in a cocoon. It was too early in the morning, light had yet to penetrate the thin curtains. She did not find sleep easily, and when she did her dreams were filled with a strange dark haired girl who chased her, with dark eyes that were cold and unforgiving.

Whispers followed in her wake as Amy walked in the station that morning, causing her to keep her head down as she walked down the steps to the crime lab. Even Kai, who usually greeted her with some stupid remark, said nothing as she entered. She must have turned around at leave ten times that day, expecting to see Ken strolling in the door. Expecting to see him miraculously healed, whole and alive. But this did not happen, and Amy was forced to accept the truth. Ken was gone, and Amy would never again smile as he walked down to her, never again feel him warm embrace. She would never again feel his fingers, as if molded to fit into hers, grasp her much smaller hand.

"Amy!" Kai called.

"What?" she said, startled. He had apparently been calling her name several times, but she was so engrossed by her own thoughts that she hadn't heard him.

At her startled response he raised his eyebrows, saying "Captain wants to see you".

Amy didn't even think of why Captain Yeong would need to see her, her mind was still in other places as she numbly walked up the stairs. She barely registered the signs that something was wrong as she walked into her office, not even glancing at Captain Yeong's equally pained face. She gestures for Amy to sit, and she only numbly did so.

"I understand" she started, but was forced to stop to clear her throat "you've experienced a terrible loss".

Amy couldn't have told anyone why this statement angered her, she couldn't even explain it herself. Unsure why she was even acting like this, she faked-patted her pockets as if trying to find something. "I wasn't aware I'd lost anything" she said. Amy was shocked at her own words. She had never spoken to anyone in this way, what had happened to her?

Captain Yeong's gaze softened slightly, making Amy grow more and more frustrated._ "Don't look at me like that!"_ she wanted to scream, but said nothing.

"What I'm saying is" Captain Yeong continued, saving as if she hadn't heard Amy "is if you ever need anything, just-".

A sudden wild desire to escape overtook her, and Amy felt as if she had lost control of her own body as she quickly stood up. "I'm not having this discussion, Captain" she said. She suddenly panicked, unsure what to say after this. It was as if someone else had spoken for her up until this point, and now that person had left her alone. "My shift is over" she said quickly, her breath once again nervously catching in her throat. "I should go". She heard her name being called as she abruptly walked out, but didn't look back. She left the station behind, trying desperately to calm herself down again. She quickened her pace as she went back to her hotel room, intending to go straight to her room. What she saw as soon as she entered the building made her freeze. Two dark eyes were peering curiously at her through a crack in one of the doors.

It seemed she would never escape this girls gaze. Because the eyes that were staring at her belonged to the dark haired girl from Ken's funeral.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just saying, this chapter…not exactly by best work. Sorry if it kinda sounds like complete random weirdness. Please don't hate if it does sound stupid, constructive criticism is appreciated but please don't outright hate. Review please?**

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><p>Amy froze briefly when she saw those eyes through the crack in the door. They blinked at her, the long eyelashes wet and clumped as if the girl had been crying. Amy heard several voices coming from the door, saw the eyes briefly disappear. A second later the girl turned back around, opening the door wider and walking out. Amy had taken her for eight or so before, but without the black dress she had been wearing the last time she saw her she was revealed to be much younger. She was no more than six. Her eyes widened as she saw Amy, looking at her as if she were some strange and marvelous creature.<p>

"Are you my guardian angel?" she asked breathlessly, her tiny voice sounding rather frightened.

Confused and shocked by this question, Amy responded "What gave you that idea?".

"I saw you" she said "my mom said angles are invisible, except when we need them the most. She said they know what it's like to die, but they come back" she said. "My mom's cousin just died. She's really sad. Is that why you're here?".

"Neviah!" a woman's voice called "Where are you?". Giving a quick glance at Amy once more as if expecting her to evaporate, the girl obviously named Neviah turned on heel and disappeared through the door behind her. After a moment of being frozen in utter shock, Amy continued on her trek upstairs. Of course if Ken had any family coming they'd need somewhere to stay, but of all places, here? It didn't matter anyways, there was no way the girl called Neviah would be here long. At least she had found out her reason for staring. If her mother had filled her with these words, of course it made sense to her that a seemingly unattached being who spoke to no one in her mind was an angel. How stupid it was that she expected the girl to know something more, perhaps how Ken had died. She was six! Surely such information wasn't disclosed to her. Either way, they girls gaze seemed to follow her into her dreams that night.

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><p>"Neviah!" a woman screamed. This was what had woken Amy the next morning, startling her out of sleep. Recognizing the girls name, she grabbed the nearest available pieces of clothing, quickly dressing and running out into the hall and down the stairs. A man and a woman, both sharing qualities of the girl, were standing by several pieces if luggage. They were both clearly distraught, looking for something that wasn't there.<p>

"Have you seen a little girl?" the woman asked of her. She clearly didn't recognize Amy, but kept staring at her for an answer. Amy shook her head "She was just here! A minute ago! We left here here when I went back to get my purse and when I came back she was gone!". Amy quickly offered to help find the girl, which the woman gratefully accepted. Amy ran outside, wishing she could run back inside and grab her jacket after realizing it was raining. Still, she ran down the streets, in constant search for the girl named Neviah. She called her name, until final she saw the girl sitting in the rain on the steps outside a closed store. She looked up when Amy approached, her eyes large.

"I couldn't leave" she said "there are angels here". Before Amy could respond she added "you're not an angel".

Amy shook her head "No, I'm not". She knew it was useless to try and pry the girl from the steps, she instead sat next to her.

"Who are you?" Neviah finally asked "why are you here?".

"I was—" she paused for a moment. What was she? "I was a friend of Ken's. A very good friend".

Neviah brushed some raindrops off if her traveling coat, which was thin and already beginning to soak through. "What happened to him?" she asked "how did he die?".

Amy didn't know what to say to this. What was she supposed to say? He fell through a window, taking some hulking assailant with him? "I don't think I can tell you that" Amy said quietly, coming up with nothing better.

"Then make something up" she said "Tell me a story".

_'A story?_' Amy thought, unsure what to say at this odd request. How on earth was she going to make up some story about Ken's death, when the real event was still fresh in her mind? Still, she knew she couldn't say no to the girl. Slowly, she started "Once there was a, a…" she trailed off, unsure what to say next.

"A princess!" Neviah exclaimed.

"A princess" Amy confirmed. "Her name was Neviah, and she lived in a tower very far away. Then she…" Amy trailed off, once again coming up with nothing.

"She met a knight" Neviah filled in for her. Amy nodded, and Neviah asked "what was his name?".

"Who's?"

"The knights!".

"He-he didn't go by his name" she said quickly, trying to think if something quick. "He went by—uh, the Green knight" she said quickly. She wanted to slap herself for being so stupid. _'The Green knight?_ She thought _'Really?'_ But Neviah seemed satisfied, and was very closely listening. She no longer spoke, and Amy knew she was on her own for the rest of the story. "Every day" she started "the green knight would visit the princess. She was very happy, but the knight feared he would fall since he had to climb the side of the tower with a rope". She paused briefly, gathering her next words. "But the princess promised him he would never fall, and if he did, she would always be there to catch him, somehow". She almost stopped there, remembering her words to Ken. She hadn't caught him…was that a promise broken?

"Then, one day, a bad man came and tried to take the princess away" she said "he tried to hurt her. Seeing this, the knight became angry. He climbed up the tower and tried to stop the man, but in doing so he and the bad man fell out of the tower". Se took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry. "She couldn't see the knight anymore. She couldn't see him or talk to him, but she knew he was there".

"How?" Neviah asked.

"Because she said he would be okay" Amy said "and once, she could almost feel him next to her. And she knew that he was—that he was—" Amy started to say, but was unable to go on. But she had to. For Neviah. "She knew he was safe and sound" she finally said.

"Safe and sound" Neviah parroted. Amy knew she liked those words. Amy nodded, and could feel warm tears slide down her face, mixing with the cold raindrops.

"Why are you crying?" Neviah asked "it's okay! He's safe and sound".


	4. Chapter 4

Amy froze for a second, only numbly nodding at Neviah's words. She very numbly led her back to her grateful mother, who loudly expressed her thanks. Amy was glad the rain gave her an excuse for her face to be wet, these people didn't need to know about her tears. Neviah gave her a slight smile as a goodbye, and Amy no longer felt the cold and haunting feeling when she looked into her eyes. It had changed to something that could only be described as warmth, and her eyes followed her until her mother took her away. Amy stood for a moment, looking at where Neviah had once lived. Staring at the cold wood that had concealed her face as she had peered out at her just yesterday. Knowing she could remain here no longer, Amy went back to her room and cleaned herself up before work. She checked her phone, and one message made her heart stop. Her window was fixed, she could go home. She replaced the phone back into her pocket, pretending she hadn't heard this news. She couldn't go back there, not yet. Not now. Feeling completely numb from the mornings events, Amy got in her car and drove to work, already late. She sped down to the crime lab before anyone could notice, bursting through the door. The noise must have startled Kai, who was working with something in a test tube at a nearby table. Amy heard glass smash, and a second later Kai's quiet swearing. He turned around, holding his hand, which bore a recent cut.

"I'm so sorry!" Amy said immediately, reaching for the first aide kit to retrieve a bandage. Without another word to Kai she took his hand in hers, carefully wrapping the gauze around the thick fleshy part of his hand. Her hands began to shake. What did Ken's hands look like again? She knew they were larger than her own, but couldn't remember what they looked like. Were they thin and boney, or strong and scarred? She knew this was a stupid thing to think about, but it felt like a piece of Ken was missing. There was something about him that she didn't remember…and it couldn't be fixed.

"Amy?" Kai said, seeing how her hands shook "are you alright?".

_"No!"_ she wanted to scream _"of course I'm not alright! Ken's dead! He's gone and he can't come back!"._ But she didn't. What she did do was lie, saying shakily "I'm fine". She gently tied off the end of the bandage, completely covering Kai's cut. His eyes were narrowed, clearly knowing her words were a lie.

_"Don't look at me like that!"_ she wanted to yell, but once again her mind kept her words from her mouth. After a second Amy broke away from this tense moment, avoiding Kai's eyes. For the rest of the day Kai said very little, but Amy could always feel his eyes on her back. The day went smoothly until the end, when Amy spotted something small and shiny in a box of evidence. Both curious and horror-stricken at what she thought it was, Amy reached in and retrieved it. It was just a badge, but somehow she knew who's warm neck it had once proudly hung around.

"Amy?" Kai said, seeing what she was holding. "Are you okay?".  
>Again, that stupid question. 'Are you okay?'. Did she look okay? Did she look like she was fine? She let the badge fall through her numb fingers, letting it fall back into the box. She could already feel her eyes burn with tears, no matter how hard she tried to stifle it. She could see Kai move towards her, in his own way, trying to comfort her.<p>

Amy appreciated the thought, but still weakly mumbled "don't" through a strangled gasp for air.

"Amy…"

"I should go" she said quickly, turning away from him and almost running out the door. Once again she heard her name being called, but was already up the stairs and almost out of the building. She walked through the rain to her car, driving home without looking back. She ran up to her room, and as soon as she closed the door was when she lost it. It was as if she had fallen into a relapse, feeling the pain from Ken's death as if it were new. She sat down on the bed, pressing her palms into her closed eyes until she could see colors beneath the lids. After a moment she looked up, studying the random items strewn across the room. What she should do is pack. What she should do is go home. But that seemed to be the one thing that she couldn't do. Rather than face the reality that she would have to go back eventually, Amy buried her face in her pillow and did the one thing she wanted to do for days: scream. It was muffled and nearly silent because of pillow, but when she was done it was as if a weight had been removed from her lungs. She could hear her own heart beat in the silence that followed, her thoughts traveling to someone who's heart did not beat. Remembering how, as he held her close, she could often hear his hearts steady beating. Thinking how she would never hear that smooth rhythm again. Her shoulders ached, she hadn't realized how she'd been so tensed up for the last few days. Strangely, she felt better. It was as if all the pressure and emotions from the last few days had been removed with her screams, making her have no more emotions to spare. Without getting up, she curled under the covers and slept. For the first time since Ken's death, neither Ken nor Neviah entered her dreams, and she was able to become lost in the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

With morning came relief, and Amy couldn't explain why. It seemed as if, though Ken's death was still very real and heavy, it was better. She walked out the door to pleasant sunlight. She drove to work with the windows open, unlike before when she kept the warmth and wind out. She walked into the station with a slight spring in her step. She no longer wanted to scream at people for looking at her. And once, before she noticed him and stopped abruptly, Kai walking in on her whistling as she worked. A low and quiet tune, but not a sad one. At the end of the day she was typing on her computer, when someone tossed something on her keyboard. She looked up to see Kai, practically standing over her. She glanced down, the object before her was Ken's badge. She instinctively recoiled, as if it were Ken's body itself.

"He'd want you to have it" Kai said, already walking out the door "we don't need it here anymore". He didn't look back to see if she had taken it, and at first she didn't. Then, after a moment, she took the cold miniature shield around a chain in her hands, holding it as if it were irreplaceable and precious. And to her, it was. After looking around to make sure no one was watching, she slipped the chain around her neck and concealed the cold metal beneath her shirt. After a moment, the metal turned warm. It was where it belonged, lying against a warm and beating heart.

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><p>Amy must have stood a long time outside her home, her hand on the knob. She had immediately gone home and packed after work, thinking she could do this. She now knew she couldn't. But something, something she couldn't see, pressured her to open the door. Very slowly, as if expecting something horrible and vicious to lie behind the door, she turned to knob and entered. For a second her mind flashed back, almost making her see Ken sitting on the couch, waiting for her. Then making her see the broken window once more. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to force these memories away. She set her bag down on the couch, her eyes stuck on the window. She stared at it, as if expecting it to turn into a black hole and suck her in. To swallow her whole, making her fall to the ground like Ken had. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.<p>

_'Relax. You can do this'. _

The voice in her head was not her own, it was someone else's. A voice that, for a second, made her heart stop. It was very real, as if Ken himself were standing next to her and softly whispering in her ear. She took a few tentative steps forward, now only a few yards away from it.

_'Keep going. You're almost there'. _

Another step. Then another. She was close enough to touch it, but didn't. It was as if she were afraid touching it would shock her.

_'Closer. You're almost done'._

The last step was the hardest. She closed her eyes as she took it, holding her breath. She only let it out when she opened her eyes a second later, almost surprised to see she was alive. The sun was setting, and she could once again see the beauty in it. It was rose-red, almost different than it was the last time she had been here. It was beautiful, and as she looked over the city she could see a cemetery on the horizon. She did not know if this was where Ken was buried, but still stared at it as if it was. Carefully, as if the check that it was still there, she pulled out Ken's badge from under her shirt. She held the warm metal between her fingers, feeling the dips and curves the engraved words made.

"It's going to be okay" she whispered, looking back at the badge as if she were speaking to it. She whispered so softly that she could barely hear herself, so quietly that she was barely audible. After a moment, she looked back at the tiny cemetery along the horizon. She let go of the badge, placing one hand on the glass as if to reach out to him. "Safe and sound".

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><p><strong>Hey, I just posted a poll about which story I should do next, so if you could do me a favor and go to the top of my profile and vote (if you haven't already) that's be awesome!<strong>


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